Breaking Family Patterns: How To Change Your Family Patterns
This is a thought provoking look at the dynamics in family relationships and the generational patterns that cause them., December 5, 2012
I write contemporary fiction about characters who are faced with difficult choices and I bought this book because I thought it might give me more insight into why people do the things they do. It was very revealing to me because I could look at different people (myself included) and see where some of the writers ideas applied. The more I pondered on it the more I came to realize that many of my pacifist, don’t argue back and for god’s sake don’t rock the boat and cause trouble tendencies could have come from the unwitting things that my parents said and did as they raised their family by the beliefs that were handed down by their parents; children should be seen and not heard, do as you are told and don’t question, spare the rod and spoil the child.

My parents were wonderful people who did the best they knew and I can’t say I had an unhappy childhood. However in recent years I began to wonder what I was like as a child, because I remember very little about my early years. I asked my 87 year old mother and she told me that I was rebellious and no one could tell me anything…and from their restrictive point of view I can believe I was! However, as I grew older I came to realize that I had spent years of my life swallowing my frustrations, resentments and anxieties rather than deal with confrontation on any level. (Coincidentally, after reading this book I understand that this was a pattern that I picked up from my mother.) Gradually I have learned that the world does not come to an end if I express my thoughts and feelings, and I have gotten much better at recognizing my own self-worth. This didn’t happen overnight or without a lot of fear and self doubt and I still have to work at it some times, but much less as the years go by.

This book has the potential to make the reader think about the patterns in their life and how they have affected them as an individual. It is a worthwhile read and if the reader begins to understand what has happened without focusing on blame or guilt, they can begin to change those patterns.

I recommend it to anyone who questions things that happen in their relationships or even someone like me, who is fascinated by human interactions and wants to learn more. You might discover more than you ever imagined!

You can purchase this book on Amazon